I could hardly wait to get out of bed this morning because I knew I would recording some big numbers...yes literally big numbers. Alas, they are big numbers I know I will never see again for this is me finding Liberation in Losing for the Last time! Yes sir!
As of right now, I will not be posting my astronomical numbers here on the blog. Having this blog alone is a HUGE step for me. Putting my numbers out there for the world to see is a place I have not yet reached. Besides me, only my doctor knows my weight. Not my mom, not my dad, neither of my sisters, not even my trainer (and she happens to be my best friend). I am extremely ASHAMED of how much I weigh. I know you would all gasp in horror or laugh hysterically if I posted it. So with pride and dignity, I have decided to keep it a secret....for now. This journey is just as much emotional as it is mental so I may change my mind later.
I looked at the scale this morning, cocked my head to the side and said, "Ok...not bad". I am not at my heaviest. But I am very far from being where I would like to be. Like I mentioned before, I am very embarrassed about that number. When I look at that number, I can not help but think I have failed in some way. Regardless of the workouts and the sacrifices I've made to eat healthfully, I am still overweight. I don't really know how this blog will help me just yet, but I do know that I am determined and I don't think I was designed or even destined to be fat my entire life. I was formed in my mother's womb by the Lord's hands...made fearfully and wonderfully perfect. I will walk in THAT design.
So...
I will be creating a tab here where I will post my weekly losses (pray no gains) of pounds as well as inches. Look for that tab by next Wednesday.
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