Thursday, July 30, 2009

Watching My Weight...go BYE BYE...

On Monday I took the plunge and joined Weight Watchers. Let's be honest, I've always had a stigma that WW was for middle-aged women that claimed they wanted to lose weight but never did. Instead they resolved to live a life full of Smart Ones (WW meals for those who don't know), counting points and stuck in their overweight rut. Au contraire...that was definitely a misconception and a very skewed stereotype.

My "co-worker BFF" asked me if I wanted to join with her last week and I agreed. We joined this past Monday and went to our first meeting on Tuesday. My weigh-in was not a huge surprise at all. However I find it embarrassing whenever someone other than myself sees my weight. I can only imagine their thoughts when they see that number. "How could she allow herself to get this heavy?"

So far, being on the WW program is a lot of fun...especially when you're doing it with someone else. We hold each other accountable through the day. We even text each other in the evening to check on what's for dinner and it we are staying within our points. I did not expect WW to be this fun!

We are being creative in our meals. I, personally, will still Eat Clean but I will stay within my Points. Like any weight loss program, WW is a discipline. It's a lifestyle change. Not a diet. They even suggest that you lose no more than 2 pounds a week. At first, I was thinking "TWO POUNDS? That's it?? That may not sound like a huge amount, but it does add up. So I am excited.

In the midst of my excitement, I have noticed a couple of fears trying to squeeze their way into my brain. I did this program briefly before and I gained weight on it. So every now and then, I keep hearing a little voice inside saying "This isn't gonna work", "You're going to gain weight again", "You're going to be fat forever and fat is ugly." These are thoughts I have about myself. But I do not accept any of those confessions at all. I know who I am goes WAY beyond the numbers on the scale, a dress size, or what I may look like.

Anyway, I'm super excited about the investment I'm making in myself. And for the first time, I'm looking forward to my weigh-in on Tuesday.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Weight Gain...pooper.

Hey all...

I gained 1.4 lbs last week y'all!. Not OK!! Not sure if you all are following my videos or not but I posted one yesterday on this. Again, check it out on YouTube. http://www.youtube.com/user/liberationoflosing

Why did I gain weight? I don't know. Well actually I do. haha. I can honestly say I did not do all I could do to guarantee a success weigh-in. I pushed the envelope at too many meal times. I ate things I should have resisted (ribs, ice cream, stuffed potato skins).. I blanked on my water intake. I skipped a couple workouts. So all the things added up...to 1.4 lbs.

I didn't blog or create a video right away because it was unexpected and to be honest just plain embarrassing! What girl wants to GAIN weight while people are peeping in. Not this girl.

SO! I joined Weight Watchers today. Oh yes! More accountability. More structure. I'm doing this with a couple of my co-workers which will be great for support and motivation too. I get a buttload of points to eat so I'm trying to be creative so that I'm not filling myself up with crap but with wholesome good. My co-worker and I are going to our first meeting tomorrow so I will changing my weigh-ins from Wednesday to Tuesday. Weigh-in Tuesday doesn't have that same ring as Weigh-in Wednesday but oh well.

But it's crazy how what you may think are minor slips can add up to weight gain in the end.

My lesson learned?
Be committed. Be diligent. Be devoted. It's my investment. It's something no one else can do for me. Those extra calories are not worth it. The momentary flavor on my lips is not worth the flab on my hips. I will workout. My body will be fit and strong through hard work and discipline.

I was talking with my friend the other day. And she was talking about what our bodies were created for. Our bodies were made for physical labor in order to support our livelihood. But majority of us have desk jobs where we sit all day. We drive to get our food. We lounge and watch TV. Yet we complain about 60 minutes of cardio. What a revelation.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Inspiration for Today

"Whether it’s resisting that margarita at happy hour or getting a walk in every day, small successes will make weight loss more manageable." JillianMichaels

I love when I find a quote and something within me resonates with agreement. Today, this quote works for me. Trying to tackle such a large task, as weight loss, ALL at once is difficult. It would be hard to eat a T-Bone steak all in one bite...not only would it be hard, it's impossible. Same when dealing with weight loss, reversing old habits and creating new ones. You have to take it one "bite" at a time. Literally.

Happy Monday! Just wanted to stop in share...love y'all!

Saturday, July 18, 2009

The Weekend: Staying Active!

Saturday has finally arrived...approximately 50 minutes ago my Saturday arrived. I'm writing this entry with an unwashed face and unbrushed teeth. I fear this weekend may get away from me if I do not sit and write this very moment.

Staying active is on my mind today. Now, I am not new to working out. I've been a gym-goer since high school. I still remember the first time I went to a gym. I Oooh'd and Ahhh'd over the various treadmills, I was intimidated by the elliptical machine, I found refuge in the Women's Only weight room, I was intrigued by how much one could sweat in a sauna.

The gym is indeed a great place! I belong to Gold's Gym which I absolutely love because there are allover the place. When I go to Seattle next month, I'm gonna hit up the one in Redmond and make myself at home in the steam room after a good workout. Vacation does not mean I will not be sticking to my plan. My plan to lose is still alive even when out of town!

Back to the gym. If you find a gym that you absolutely love, you will find yourself wanting to spend more time there. Spending more time there results in staying active more. And keeping active is the key to winning in this game. It does not have to be a full blown workout all at once, even the little things help. Taking the stairs, parking far and walking into the store, 30 minute walk here, 15 minute walk there. The small things will get you acclamated to working out so that when you jump into a 60-minute workout, you don't die! Of course, it's important to physically challenge yourself as well.

When you are choosing a gym, make sure that it has all that you are looking for. Shop around. Many gyms have free trial periods. Check those out. Check out the classes. Will they challenge your fitness level? Is there a pool? Is the staff friendly and helpful? Are there locations close to your home and job? How about when traveling out of town? Are there travel passes? These are all things I looked for in a gym. What you desire may be different, just make sure that you are completely happy at the gym you choose. You want to be in an environment that is condusive to working hard and having fun while doing it.

My struggle now is GETTING to the gym. Find TIME to make it to the gym. The time is definitely there, I just need to make sure I do. If I don't, I have a few DVD's at home that are great so I can still get that workout in.

My plan today? I will packing, moving boxes...staying active that way. In a couple hours, I'm going to head downtown to a pool to swim laps and play around with friends. Can't wait!

Have a great Saturday y'all!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

The Big Day: Weigh In Wednesday #1

I could hardly wait to get out of bed this morning because I knew I would recording some big numbers...yes literally big numbers. Alas, they are big numbers I know I will never see again for this is me finding Liberation in Losing for the Last time! Yes sir!

As of right now, I will not be posting my astronomical numbers here on the blog. Having this blog alone is a HUGE step for me. Putting my numbers out there for the world to see is a place I have not yet reached. Besides me, only my doctor knows my weight. Not my mom, not my dad, neither of my sisters, not even my trainer (and she happens to be my best friend). I am extremely ASHAMED of how much I weigh. I know you would all gasp in horror or laugh hysterically if I posted it. So with pride and dignity, I have decided to keep it a secret....for now. This journey is just as much emotional as it is mental so I may change my mind later.

I looked at the scale this morning, cocked my head to the side and said, "Ok...not bad". I am not at my heaviest. But I am very far from being where I would like to be. Like I mentioned before, I am very embarrassed about that number. When I look at that number, I can not help but think I have failed in some way. Regardless of the workouts and the sacrifices I've made to eat healthfully, I am still overweight. I don't really know how this blog will help me just yet, but I do know that I am determined and I don't think I was designed or even destined to be fat my entire life. I was formed in my mother's womb by the Lord's hands...made fearfully and wonderfully perfect. I will walk in THAT design.

So...

I will be creating a tab here where I will post my weekly losses (pray no gains) of pounds as well as inches. Look for that tab by next Wednesday.

Monday, July 13, 2009

ABC, Easy As 1, 2, 3

Monday has been a great day!

The three things I am focusing on this week are:

1. Being consistent in my food diary. I am keeping record that includes what I eat, when I eat, how hungry I was when I ate, what I was feeling when I ate. I am also tracking how much water I drink a day.

2. Being consistent in my workouts. This week I am focusing on Couch to 5K, Jillian Michaels's 30-Day Shred, and Body Jam at Gold's Gym.

3. Stick to my caloric intake. At this point in time, it is set to 1600 to 1700 calories. This may adjust as the weeks progress depending on how active I stay and how the pounds come off. If I don't see the scale changing, I may have to adust that number. Starving yourself is NOT how you healthfully lose weight!

So today, I grabbed a couple post-its at work and recorded everything I stuck in my mouth. The thing that works for me is planning meals IN ADVANCE so that I don't find myself grabbing McDonald's because I needed something quick and fast (which I would never do anyway).

In a post to come THIS WEEK, I will combo a blog entry and video on how to pack your food for the day. This is fool proof and you will have all the food you need to sustain yourself all day without going hungry and in turn, have food in your possession if you ever have a craving. This battle is offensive as much as it is defensive.

Today was the first day of Couch to 5K for me. I headed to the park straight after work. It was crazy HOT ... after all this is Texas. And here I am walking and jogging in 100 degree weather. Nevertheless, it helped to release the stresses of the day, get a good sweat and burn some calories. I am using Robert Ulrrey's Podcasts for Running from iTunes. For more information on the program see: http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml The podcast feature cues when to warm up, walk briskly, start running intervals and cool down. It is quite helpful.

These are my goals for this week! It is late here and I am pooped. I will talk to you all later!

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Liberation of Losing - The Blog!

Drum Roll please...

The long awaited, forever anticipated blog is now here!

My name is Marian, I am 31 and I live in the beautiful Austin, TX. I am overweight and I have been overweight my entire life. I have no recollection of ever being thin. I have no clue what being thin even feels like. By the time, I was in 6th grade, I was over 200 lbs. I've been in the same size jeans since 7th grade. I've shopped in a plus sized clothing store all my life. I've been conscious of my body every single day of my life.

I remember being on my first diet in 2nd grade. I was put on Slim Fast. That would be the first of MANY diets through the years. I still recall my 3rd grade teacher pulling me aside every Friday to weigh me in the nurse's office. She told me that she wanted to help me lose weight but never told me HOW that was going to happen. I weighed 103 lbs in the 3rd grade! She instructed me to keep a food diary...many days I would abstain from meals altogether because I thought that was how you lose weight. I remember being super embarrassed when my friends would ask why we were going to the nurse's office every Friday. I didn't dare tell them the truth so I made up some excuse although I don't remember exactly what anymore.

My weight never interfered with my ability to make friends, meet new people, or get involved in new things. I've never been that fat girl hanging out alone at recess. In fact, I've always had a lot of friends and I make friends easily. Despite my confident demeanor, my body and my weight is something that occupies much of my thought life. And there definitely are moments when I feel insecure about how I look. At one point in my life, these thoughts were unhealthy and full of self-hate. But now, when I think of my body, I try not to think negatively about myself...instead, I try to maintain a perspective that is centered around my body and how it pertains to my health. I want to be at a healthy weight so that my days on earth may be long. I want a strong body so that I can do all the things God has planned without any physical limitations. I want to lose weight so that I can be an example to those around me that having victory and permanent success in this area is definitely possible!

The method I plan on using is the old fashioned one...smart eating and exercise. There will be no magic pills or lose weight overnight schemes. Just a lot of hard work, discipline and sweat. I will earn every single one of those pounds that I lose...I will be liberated as I lose the weight. I believe that people miss out getting to know the real Marian because they fail to see what lies beyond this sumo-like body. By liberating my thoughts and feelings and my journey here, I am also liberating the real Marian. As I lose the weight, more of me is being liberated. This is Liberation of Losing. I'm definitely excited to see the pounds and inches that I'll rack up as the numbers on the scale and tape measure go down.

I've started this blog to track my progress as I get serious about losing some MAJOR poundage. In conjunction with this blog, I will be creating videos to update you on how things are going on throughout the week, new things I am trying, what's working and what's not working, hurdles I'm encountering, etc. Basically, the videos are a way for you to get to know me personally. You can find these videos at http://www.youtube.com/user/liberationoflosing . Feel free to follow me on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Meleana78