My First Weigh-In of 2010 is TODAY!

Weigh-ins are so daunting. Most weeks I stress wondering if the scale will reflect all my hard work of the week past. However today, I know that the scale will only reflect the result of slacking off all November and December. December was so crazy that I never got to the gym. NOT ONCE! I make no excuses. I could've crawled out of bed and hit the gym in the wee morning hours. But I wasn't trying to lose my precious sleep. lol.

Anyway, I've been having dreams about today's weigh-in. On Sunday night I dreamed that I gained everything I lost back and more. But I know that isn't true. I weighed myself at home this morning. I am disappointed in myself though. I hate that I let all my effort from August to October just get flabby...literally.

I asked my co-worker BFF this morning where I can find motivation to get back to that place. I loved cooking then. I loved working out then. Perhaps I just need to DO IT so that I can find my groove again. I will do it...even if out of discipline. Hopefully out of routine, I will find that love for it again.

But I am excited for today. I will not fear the numbers on the scale. I will NEVER see that number again. I have such GREAT expectation for 2010. I am finalizing my goals for this year. I will post them later this week!

The Big Day: Weigh In Wednesday #1

I could hardly wait to get out of bed this morning because I knew I would recording some big numbers...yes literally big numbers. Alas, they are big numbers I know I will never see again for this is me finding Liberation in Losing for the Last time! Yes sir!

As of right now, I will not be posting my astronomical numbers here on the blog. Having this blog alone is a HUGE step for me. Putting my numbers out there for the world to see is a place I have not yet reached. Besides me, only my doctor knows my weight. Not my mom, not my dad, neither of my sisters, not even my trainer (and she happens to be my best friend). I am extremely ASHAMED of how much I weigh. I know you would all gasp in horror or laugh hysterically if I posted it. So with pride and dignity, I have decided to keep it a secret....for now. This journey is just as much emotional as it is mental so I may change my mind later.

I looked at the scale this morning, cocked my head to the side and said, "Ok...not bad". I am not at my heaviest. But I am very far from being where I would like to be. Like I mentioned before, I am very embarrassed about that number. When I look at that number, I can not help but think I have failed in some way. Regardless of the workouts and the sacrifices I've made to eat healthfully, I am still overweight. I don't really know how this blog will help me just yet, but I do know that I am determined and I don't think I was designed or even destined to be fat my entire life. I was formed in my mother's womb by the Lord's hands...made fearfully and wonderfully perfect. I will walk in THAT design.

So...

I will be creating a tab here where I will post my weekly losses (pray no gains) of pounds as well as inches. Look for that tab by next Wednesday.