The Scale

The following post is something I wrote earlier this year regarding the dreaded scale and my feelings that still exist around my weekly weigh-ins. Enjoy!

I can empathize with the woman in this cartoon. As funny as it may seem, the scale and I have a hate/hate relationship. There is no love involved whatsoever. Have you ever dieted, worked out, went to bed feeling hunger pangs and just knew you were going to lose weight just to step on the scale and find that you gained 3 pounds? No? Well lucky you. This has happened to me pretty often during 2008. And it's SO infuriating. Makes you wanna leave that scale and eat a burger (which I did do a few times) because you feel like all your efforts just don't matter at all. So frustrating...and then I have a sister who works out with me twice a week, still eats fried chicken and loses weight like it's no big deal. But here I am working out 4-5 times a week and nothing budges and I don't even eat fried chicken!! Oh, the frustration.

One of my determinations for 2009 is to figure out what works best for my body and get this weight off. I've been on this journey since I was in 1st grade and I've definitely had my shortcomings but I am determined to continue this year. You would think after 24 years of living, I would've discovered the issue and lost this weight but unfortunately, it just hasn't been that easy for me.

I do thank God that I've never been a hermit because of my weight or had any extreme eating disorders. In fact, I think I always refused to be that typical "fat girl" who is bound by insecurity and fear and ends up being a loner and inactive. I've been determined to never be that. I have, however, battled those thoughts of not being pretty or attractive, feeling like I was always being judged, and I've always hated not being to wear all the things I want to wear. But a lot of that has been dealt with and I've rooted my identity in Christ as opposed to what the scale or the tag in my jeans says.

So I make a resolve to live healthfully. I have eliminated certain foods from my diet to do this. I will continue to work out 4-6 times a week. I am doing this to be healthy. I believe in time, the weight will come off (it better!). But I only have this one body and in order to do the Lord's will, I've got to take care of it. After all this is also the temple of the Holy Spirit and I want it to be a clean home -- spirit, soul and body.

And because weight and body issues have been a prevalent issue in my life, I'll probably be blogging more about this to come...in segments of my life and what was going on with that at the time. I think it'll give you all a deeper glimpse into who I am, how I've dealt with these issues, and how I'm being healed (in Jesus Name). I love y'all...thanks for reading.