FAKE!

I'm a big advocate of being real. I dislike when I sense that a person is being something other than their true self. Yet at this moment in time, I feel like a fake. I will not disclose too many details but the very things I want to do and need to do, I don't. And of course the things I don't want to do and should not do, I do. Isn't that how it always goes? And I know that people experience this everyday and some people may see nothing wrong with it. However, I do because I hate the guilt I experience for not exercising discpline and self-control. Am I alone in this battle? Can anyone relate to what I'm saying right now?

I'll give an example. This example is light but it illustrates a little of what I'm saying. It's like committing to not eating fettucine alfreado because you've committed to eating a low-fat, vegetable rich diet. You tried to resist but you ate the alfredo anyway. It's something you can not undo. After all the noodles have been devoured, the reality of your actions set in along with guilt. I hate that feeling!

Whenever, I do something I should not have done, I brainstorm ways to avoid the temptation when it comes around again. Sometimes I have success and other times I don't. But I will not have peace until I have complete victory and the temptation is defeated entirely. Is this possible? Can I have hope for this?